We know that people tend to respect those who are assertive. When someone is assertive, it conveys a sense of competence and power — both traits that are very attractive and help to foster a sense of trust.
Being assertive can take many forms; however, simply saying “No” can be a great first step.
The problem is that many of us worry we'll come across as overly negative or assertive. We think that if we say “No” too many times, we'll be seen as aggressive or difficult.
But here's the good news: If you think you're overly assertive, there's a very good chance you're not.
Research suggests that people who see themselves as appropriately assertive are actually more likely to be overly assertive, while those who see themselves as overly or underly assertive are actually displaying the appropriate degree of assertiveness.
In other words, if you're worried you're being too assertive, you're probably OK.
Being able to speak your mind and stand your ground is important for earning respect from those around you.
If you believe you're being too assertive, you're probably not. Of course, if you're frequently told you come across as cocky or "full of yourself," it may be time to dial down the assertiveness a bit.
- John Rampton (modified by Amr Badran)